2016 | Mad and Angry

Blinds are closed and the door is forever locked 

Okey guys! I’ve seen this Clown Academy or what to call it circle around on the internet and apparently they are here around my village where I live. I’m dead scared! I really hate clowns and I know if I see one, I know I’ll drop down and die. Like I can’t see clowns on photos without crying. I told my man about this and he said he would beat them for me ♡ true love! But I told him that at nights / when its dark outside, he isn’t allowed to go outside just because of these scary stuff {I wanted to write a curse word here but I decided not too}. I don’t understand why people is doing this and after I found out about this and told Elin and M, I started to Google about it and apparently there is over 100 cases reported to the police on just two months. There was two articles that the newspapers has posted that made me so mad! The clowns aren’t just out at the nights, they are also out during daytime and I read {and send the link to M&E} that there has been a clown two days ago standing outside a school for kids in grades 1-6 and terrifying the kids ~ now that’s not OK! ~ and I also read that some {I don’t remember how many there were now} idiots attacked an elderly woman with help thingy ~ not a wheelchair but those things you hold onto so you can walk.  I mean, really? Kids and elderly people? Now that is not OK! It made me so mad reading this and I was texting with elin and we were talking about this and I made a decision to get some stuff to have in my handbag. I don’t know what yet but really, you need these things to protect yourself. I’m totally honest here now but if I see a clown, I’ll be so scared that I won’t be able to hit and that stuff with my fists so I need something in my handbag. I know this makes me sound violence but in this case, I don’t care. I hate clowns. I’m scared of them and I know I will cry and get an panic attack if I see one. I won’t walk alone outside when its dark. I’ll make sure that i’ll always have my man with me. He says that he isn’t scared of either the dark or clowns. Good because iam both.

One thing I can not understand is, why is people doing this? I know some people has even stabbed people and given them death threats.  Like.. why!? Are some people really that sick? Well yeah apparently. It scared the shit out of me. I’m so glad that my man is moving with me! I feel a thousand procent safe when iam with him.

Okey so sorry now but I will stop write about this now. It makes me more scared. I know I know. I’m lame but hey, if you are scared of clowns, you know what am talking about.

Muwah my ghosts!

2016 | Mad and Angry · 2016 | Miss Santorini {Photos}

Mentally prepared

This filter 👌 I love it. I love all the filter with skulls they have. Lol!

The day before yesterday something creepy happened to me. I won’t write anything but let me just say that I called the company and told them everything and they were so mad on what I have experienced! So the boss off the company will call me and hopefully it won’t happen to anyone else.

So I have mentally prepared myself to defend me and my mother at the hospital. Sure I’m scared but no one makes my mother scared. I won’t accept that. So I’m not leaving mama’s side now. Not even when she wants to drink her coffee outside. I’m right next to her. Let me just say that my fists is ready if I have to use them. It was scary and creepy that happened to me. I bet you all can figure out what happened but I’m still not gonna write here. 

I woke up today with anger and I was so mad. I mentally prepared myself on the way down if something would happen but thank God  {Hamdulillah ~ sorry for using this word} that nothing happened today. 

I’m not a violent person but if I have to defend myself or anyone on my family and my friends ~ I won’t backing down. I only use violence if I have to but I try to avoid it as much as I can..

We are now on the way home and this driver is awesome! He is also from the same village as us ~ how crazy! But he lives in Gävle.  He remembered mama and me so when I sat inside and charged my phone – he came in and saw me and I saw him and he said “Come now! It’s time to fly!” Haha so we were joking with each other.  In other words ~ his awesome! 

2016 | Mad and Angry

Cold tea, makeup falling ~ AND IN PISSED OFF MOOD

Hey guys! What’s up? I’m on the way to the hospital as usual with my mom. And I fell asleep.. ofcourse! So my tea is cold. Ugh! Thank God that the cafeteria has hot water so I can drink new tea. The makeup falling part is actually something that makes me mad. I have sunglasses on now so I can run to the bathroom and fix it when we have arrived!

Anyway, I have to tell you guys and my blog something tragic well not really tragic but one thing that pisses me off so much!!! The cab driver we are going with eight now {I’m blogging while on the way down} is trash talking immigrants and arabs, Muslims ~ you name it. And it makes me so mad. Before I was yelling and cursing the hell put off people when I heard something racist but now I decided to put my headphones on and listen to an arabic song. I have no time for negativity right now. I must focus on getting better myself, be happy and work hard to leave Sweden and have my life back! And I can’t do that if I constantly are listening to negativity. So IN WITH POSITIVITY IN MY LIFE AND OUT WITH NEGATIVITY! Yes, I’m serious! I’m tired off hearing negativity and racism. I’m not racist so it pisses me off when people is trash talking Muslims, arabs and everyone ~ including the Quran. I mean.. really? Psshh.

2016 | Mad and Angry · 2016 | Topics

Babies are not ugly

Goodmorning my beloved ghosts! How are you? I’m tired and hungry ~ but I’m waiting on the cab. Anyway the head line “Babies are not ugly” . When I heard this coming out from my sister’s mouth to a friend of ours who just had a beautiful baby girl. L was so proud of her so she uploaded a picture of baby A on Facebook. Guess what my sister said straight to L’s face? Your baby is so ugly on that photo and irl. HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!? No child is ugly! I’ve been thinking a lot on this and every time I think of it, I gets really mad! I mean how stupid can a person be?! How disrespectful can a person be?!  I yelled at her when I heard it from my other sister what she said and she said to me you are such a hypocrite! You think some kids are ugly too!  First off all; NO! I do not think any child is ugly! Second; I’m ashamed off calling her my sister. First racism and now this? How do you have energy for all the hate!? I don’t get it! I’m surrounded by idiots ~ literally! Racism, thinks babies are ugly and more. I’m the only normal one in my family! I’m not racist, I’m not against {except child abuse, bullying, murder etc. You get it} anyone. If I were racist I wouldn’t learn Arabic right? I wouldn’t have an arabic tattoo? I wouldn’t plan off getting more arabic tattoos.. right? But no I’m the hypocrite in our family. Excuse me now but BITCH! HOW AM I THAT!? 
Anyway, I’m gonna wrap this post up. It makes me so mad and I just wanted to share with you a simple day of Emma’s life ~ welcome to it! 

Muwah! XOXO

2016 | Mad and Angry · 2016 | Topics

One thing that pisses me off so God damn much!

Okey guys! So I have to write here in my blog or I will literally explode. I have (had!) this guy on snapchat – not saying his name or so – and he asked me what I was doing so I told that I was lying in bed and I asked him what he was doing. And here comes the part that pisses me off so much – he write that he is watch a show about fat people (remember this is his words) and that he thinks they are gross and disgusting etc. So I wrote to him “OK, so let me guess. You think that they are eating and don’t move (I don’t remember how the word spells)” and he said yes. Oh it burned in my head, so I played it cool and asked him “let’s say that iam overweight, what would you say and think?” His answer “nothing. I don’t trash people” and more.OH TRUST ME GUYS! MY HEAD WAS TICKING OFF AND READY TO EXPLODE ANY SECOND!

I told him that he must get the fact straight before he opens up his God damn mouth because iam overweight and I have a sickness that is incurable  (?) And that there is people who have problems etc” I don’t remember everything I wrote but I took screenshots and send them to Elin, and Jesus christ! Now we both are so mad.

I blocked the guy INSTANTLY after I said my part because seriously, I can’t handle idiots like that.

IAM OVERWEIGHT/FAT AND I HAVE A SICKNESS IN MY STOMACH THAT MAKES ME THE SIZE IAM! I’m working on it and trying to lose weight. And this piece of shit skunky ass rat is trashing big people. Ah hell no! 😡

Thanks for reading and please, share your opinion!

2016 | Mad and Angry

To be honest (horrible story)

I knew my family was racist but my nephew took it to an whole new level. He was saying “wallah” and some other words so I asked him if he knew what wallah meant.. he said no. So I told him  that it meant “I swear”.

The next thing he said, straight out and loud made me so freaking mad so you guys have no idea. It fucking exploded in my head! I’m not gonna write what he said but it’s the most racist shit I have ever heard him say so I yelled at him, straight out “FOR FUCK SAKE G! I NEVER WANNA HEAR THAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ONE MORE TIME” and more but I was so mad after what he said so I don’t remember everything.  But I don’t think I have never cursed SO MUCH in one breath or sentence before.

To be honest, I’m ashamed of my family. Ashamed of what they say. I don’t wanna be near them when we are in town or something.  Like.. damn! Their racist shit is so horrible that it’s like… I don’t wanna belong to my family. I love them, don’t get me wrong but in this case with this racist bullshit they say, it feels like I don’t belong to them nor don’t want to belong to them.

I hope you guys understand what I’m saying. I had to write this to get my irritation and anger out!

I tried to just let it go after I yelled at him, so I took a shower and tried to forget about it but I couldn’t.  So I felt I had to write here and hopefully it will leave my head now.


2016 | Hurricane in my head · 2016 | Mad and Angry · 2016 | Miss Santorini {Photos}

Me against six people


Right now I have, to be honest, locked myself in mom’s bathroom, sitting on the floor and have a massive pain in my stomach. I KNOW IT HAS BEEN A LOT OF NEGATIVITY TODAY BUT AS SOON AS I’M ALONE, I CAN STAY POSITIVE! I promise! Why? I’m the only one in my family who isn’t racist. And now my sisters, my mom, my oldest nephew and a family friend are here. At mama’s place because we are having BBQ for dinner.

To be honest, I really don’t wanna leave the bathroom. I don’t wanna leave my place on the floor. I know that, when I put my foot outside the door, they will attack me with racist shit. And to be honest, I don’t know how much I can take it. I will always defend Muslims, Jewish and everyone. Don’t get me wrong on that.  But it’s really exhausting. To always go on my toes. Have my ears like satellites that moves around to hear anything.

So sorry for this post. But I.. wow. To be honest, I don’t know what to say or how I feel. All I know is that I’m nervous and my stomach hurts like crazy.