I’ve decided to take a few days off from everything called social media, network, contact with people etc because it has been too much for me lately. Today has been a bad day, not even a family time event helped me out. The loss off my father is today strong but I’ve to remain calm for my baby. Today I’ve really felt that I want him back home. I know it’s impossible but I can always wish. So I turned on my phone right now and after this post in turning it off again. I thought I could handle my phone but to be honest, I can’t. I need a detox from my phone. I need to be alone. Focusing on my baby when the time is as hardest.
Time heals. It really do. The loss of my dad is not so heavy as it was before. But some days I feel I don’t wanna get up from the bed in the mornings. The sorrow and missing him is too much. I’m down to only two digits on my pregnancy and remembering that my dad won’t even meet my son hurts me so bad. It makes me so mad, angry and upset. I really wish he could hold my son. I really wish he could be waiting in the waiting room while I give birth so he could meet his grandson but I know he won’t. So this makes my pregnancy even harder. But like I said, time heals. It really does. Today haven’t been a good day but I can talk about him, see pictures of him etc without my tears falls.
I’ll blog later. I just need a moment for myself to focus on my baby and to focus on myself. Muwah!