Hey guys! So I have been gone for a while from the blog. I know I know! Shame on me! But to be honest, I’ve been in so much stress and so much pain that I haven’t had the energy to update my blog.
The headline says BIG NEWS ! Well here we go; I’m pregnant! YES iam! It’s a miracle that iam pregnant! I’m so happy and so excited to be a mom. It’s one of my biggest dreams! Thanks to my hubby that dream is coming true! All my life I’ve heard that I will never be able to get pregnant. Why? Because of the PCOS I have. I’ll write a post about that sickness later. And in March ~ March 5 I think it was, I was at the midwife because I have cellchanges down there ~ I’m not ashamed of saying that ~ and I told them that my period is late and I asked them if I could do a pregnancy test there NOTE I’ve done many earlier but it all showed negative BUT at the midwife it showed positive. I started to cry. Instead of going back to the midwife I went straight to my man, with tears falling down my cheeks, panic but happy. I pointed at my stomach while walking to the waiting room there he sat and he didn’t understand what I meant. “I’m pregnant” was all I could say and hugged him. The tears fell on both of us. We went back to the midwife and she asked me all kind of questions ~ do you wanna keep it? When was the first day on your last period etc. Even though I had protection inside me ~ again, I’m not ashamed ~ I was pregnant. We found out the date when the baby will be born ~ between October 27 and October 29. We also found out that I got pregnant 10 days after we got married. 10 freaking days! I take this as a sign a sign for us to become a family. Our bond between us is stronger than ever.
After founding out that we are pregnant ~ well iam, I asked for help with smoking. I don’t wanna smoke. I was in week 5+5 when we found out. I’m in week 19 on Sunday. Still smokes. Yes I know. I have heard it all! Don’t need to comment that smoking is bad!
The fear of telling my family I don’t remember exactly when I told my family but I know that I was pregnant at least for 10 more weeks before I told my mom and sister. I found out that I was pregnant right after we found out that my sister C had a miscarriage. So I decided not to tell her because I saw how depressed she was and I didn’t want to rub my pregnancy in her face you know. But apparently I did wrong. When I told my sister C that I am pregnant, she said the most nastiest shit ever and it hurts me. I have no contact with her ~ spoken with her twice on the phone and met her once since she said those things. I’m not gonna write what she said but trust me, it really hurts me.
June Five (5) is the date when we will find out what sex the baby is. I’ve already seen our baby on ultrasound when I had to go to the emergency with massive pains and blessings. They think I’ve lost one baby ~ apparently I was having twins. But I don’t know. All I know is that I have one baby in my tummy. We heard the heartbeat and everything. When I saw on the monitor something moving I said out loud in shock “What the fuck was that!?” And after that I don’t remember what I said but according to my man and one of the godmother’s ive said fuck and shit all the time. I dont remember that. Haha!
June 5, mom will come with us to see what sex the baby is. I’m hoping for a boy but my mind is telling me that it is a girl. But we will see. I’m happy no matter what the little monster is 🙂