Right now I have, to be honest, locked myself in mom’s bathroom, sitting on the floor and have a massive pain in my stomach. I KNOW IT HAS BEEN A LOT OF NEGATIVITY TODAY BUT AS SOON AS I’M ALONE, I CAN STAY POSITIVE! I promise! Why? I’m the only one in my family who isn’t racist. And now my sisters, my mom, my oldest nephew and a family friend are here. At mama’s place because we are having BBQ for dinner.
To be honest, I really don’t wanna leave the bathroom. I don’t wanna leave my place on the floor. I know that, when I put my foot outside the door, they will attack me with racist shit. And to be honest, I don’t know how much I can take it. I will always defend Muslims, Jewish and everyone. Don’t get me wrong on that. But it’s really exhausting. To always go on my toes. Have my ears like satellites that moves around to hear anything.
So sorry for this post. But I.. wow. To be honest, I don’t know what to say or how I feel. All I know is that I’m nervous and my stomach hurts like crazy.