2016 | •• ♡ Dad ♡ ••

A piece of my mind

On March 12th, 2016 my beloved father passed away. He had so many problems in his life so for me it feels OK that he decided to return back to his place in heaven. When my sister knocked on my door at 12am something.  My first thought was “who the hell is knocking at the door this late?” So I got up and checked. It was my big sister. She said that I had to do what she said and I was like..what the f*ck?” So I asked her why and she said it again. So my instant thought was “mom” and I asked her if there is something wrong with mom and she said yes (mama has heart problems.  I will write that in an other post) so I hurried up and grabbed all the stuffed I needed and we went over to mama’s place. Instantly when I walked thru her front door I asked “are you OK? ” And she said yes so I looked on my sister and she told me to sit down. My instant feeling was “what’s wrong with dad?” And then she told me. Daddy has passed away. Four heart attacks. Wow. I cried and had a mental breakdown. I instantly wrote to my friend and asked if I could call him and also wrote that dad died today. So I called him and he calmed me down  (thanks darling).

Two days went by and me and mama was in a carcrash. We were fine but I was so worried about my mom because she has 3 failed back surgeries so my instant thought was “we need to go to the hospital” but nope. She didn’t wanna. My neck hurted like crazy but I didn’t tell my mom that.

Then the planning of the funeral came. Hell broke lose. And yeah. I don’t need to get in details about that. But let me say that my “sister” on my dad’s side was a real bitch! Excuse me.

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Thank you for giving my the honor to place this golden sign. I feel proud and really honored as a daughter for doing that.

April 5, 2016.
The final moment.
The funeral of my beloved father. Flowers, tears, songs, holding hands and panic attacks.  My beloved father was lying in front off all of us. His sisters and mother came up from Denmark just to attend on his funeral. His gang from the old American Classic cars club was there. One of his dearest friend was there. The president of the club. I thought he was about to pass out. It has taken so hard on him. Wow.

The tears started to fall when I saw my sister A cry. I hate seeing my siblings cry. Next was when I saw my grandma cry and then when I saw my big sister C and nephew cry. During the ceremony I had a crying panic attack. So my sister A grabbed my hand and tried to calm me down.  It was so hard. But I managed to control myself. It was horrible. After the ceremony it was “desserts” and shit. I don’t know why tho but it was. And my cousins and shit was there. And the reason why I call them shit is because they hate me and my two sisters and my mom.

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More photos will be added in an other post.

● Today it feels OK that my dad is gone. It feels OK that he has returned to his place in heaven, next to the other angels.

Don’t get surprised if I sometimes writes deep thought or poems about my dad but it feels like this is the only place where I can write what I feel without getting judged.

Thank you for reading this.

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